Episode Four

Opening:

Ok, this thing opens up with the review of the last episode. Man, it has been two week and we've been going through withdrawl waitin for a little mo of the RoL.

Damn, I forgot how bad things were for my girl Kristy Joe. I'm still maintaining that she's the best looking one in the bunch. But MAN what baggage. Married twice, not even divorced, AND has a kid, dogs, does it ever stop. I'm not sure she classifies as a pincushion, but she's definitely got a lot goin on. As Bret says, Wassagoinon?

We're opening with Daisy makin the move. Now there's a pincushion. She's been stuck so many times her skin has turned black. Of course the more I think about it, she may be the perfect girl for him. Takes no shit and doesn't hesitate to get behind closed doors.

Aubry. Jeez, do something about that hair. Yeah, get all high and might 'cus he walked around you. Every guy needs a self-conscious nag. I mean really, take a hint, he walked around you to kiss Daisy and (gasp!!!) Catherine. If he passed you by for Elvira and her neck, then you not be playin from a position of strength. I just figured it out, Aubry looks like Marylin Manson. She's feeling neglect. Well then go jump on big John or something. He's neglecting you because you are plain. Kinda androgenous like Mr. Manson. Oh, and please eat something!!! She's probably as anatomically correct as a Barbie Doll.

Catherine is just hideous. I mean really. Somehow, some way, she's made the final ten and I can't say that she's said more than ten words.

Yeah, Bret and Daisy "got to know each other".

Motorcycle shop:

They are at the motorcycle shop and Peyton steps up, "this is my thing." Well heck yeah since you probably used to be a mechanic before the sex change or at least before the hormone pills started kickin in. Allison is wondering if she's wearing a jock strap.

"Guys that ride motorcycles are hot" - Daisy. Well, Allison can definitely back you up on that one.

Megan - "My best strategy is to look hot." Yes, she is a keeper. But on body alone she's a top five. I think her best bet is not speak and she could be a finalist.

Uh, connect the fuel line? Oh yeah, that.

Oh dear. Peyton is gonna have to clean the bike in a bikini?? Allison wants to know how she can tuck her junk between her legs and clean the bike at the same time.

Back from the shop and date with Inna:

This guy is killing me. Every woman that talks to him and says "I can see us together" and he says "I do too." He's worse than a kid in a candy store. He's a fat kid snarfin on everything in the store, but it is all that nasty stuff that tastes like licorice.

And then there's Aubry. Man, this is one clueless girl. While she's got every right to feel the way she does . . . Wait, did I just hear that right. Rewind. Yep. "I'm a very, very, very observant person. I'm a karaoke host; I KNOW people." Oh, I'm about to pee in my pants on that one. 'Cus sure, every time I've sung karaoke I've always marveled at the awareness of the hostess. They always seem very Zen-like. I'm thinking Cain in 'Kung-Fu' Zen. Kiss this girl goodbye. I mean really, if she was a golf-ball-through-the-garden-hose girl, maybe she stays, but otherwise put a steel-toed boot in her butt.

I'm dyin that my girl KJ is the leader of the emotionally crippled pack. Oh, now we find that she's the rebound queen. Can't live without a man. Oh, that's just sad. The thing is, she's saying that she can't give her all, but she's shown more of a real side than anyone else in the house.

The next day, photo shoot:

Megan - "I'm totally confused. I don't know what's going on." Yep, did I mention that this girl has a four-year accounting degree from the U of Illinois. Not some mail-order thing, a BS in Accounting. I just lost all respect for CPAs everywhere. Well, unless they look like her. (yes Dug, she's hideous)

The photo shoot is lame. But we do get the best quote about Daisy - "that breast-rib combination, just lovely". No hidden agenda there.

Oh man, the meal. And Aubry speaks at lunch. This girl can't get a clue. Then she mis-reads Bret's comments and thinks that KJ is not being real. Too funny. She lets her pre-conceived notions block out what he said and stirs up KJ needlessly. Man, she needs to go.

Ready for elimation:
Cheers from 237 Churchview for KJ going after Bret. Sure, she's acting on bad information from Aubry, but she showed chutzpa to go and confront him. KJ is too good for him.

"talked the talk and walked the walk", yeah that's Daisy. She walked alright.

What up with Aubry's hair? The face that launched a thousand ships - Allison says. I'm thinking she looks like Lola from the Copa Cabana.

There are three girls at this point that have done NOTHING. Megan, Jessica, and Catherine and they are all staying. What is the guy thinking at this point? Sure, Aubry should go home. Who the hell needs a girl that nags when you aren't even dating and hasn't even put out. If she's gonna nag that badly, the white pony better be happy.

KJ is losing it. Man, this is rough. It is better than a soap opera.

What was that? Aubry self-selects??? I mean really, that was such a self sacraficing move, but she needed to go anyhow. "If it is meant to be, we'll find each other. We live in the same city." You have to be kidding me. What, 7 million people in LA, and he's gonna search out the nag that is Aubry. I'm thinking no.

And there's Megan. She defines a ditz. Sure, hot ditz, but this is beyond words.