Episode Eight

Two weeks of a break and now we're back. They lead us in with the recap of last episode. Man, we LOVE this show. Down to six babes.

After a few drinks this weekend we took a poll of the gang and it sounds like KJ and Ambre are the faves. It was agreed by all of the male members that Megan is hot.

So we open with KJ drama. Man, this chick just oozes drama. Because of something Bret says she makes the call, literally, to finalize the divorce with her second husband. She's coming off like one of those chicks that just can't live a life without drama and if there isn't any, she'll make some. Kinda like Hilary Clinton.

Ambre's commentary is histerical. She's got KJ nailed. While I can't back down from my early, early prediction that KJ's the one, this chick is definitely a flake and a half. She's the kinda girl you knew in high school, that hot cheerleader, but just drives you crazy with ups and downs.

Anyone notice that Ambre's game is really stepping up. She's feeling the pressure and ... WHOAH, where the hell did that come from? They are picking teams for the video shoot and Jessica, sweet little Jessica, shit-talks KJ calling her a "crabby ho". Do we have this girl wrong? Is she a panther in a fuzzy kitten's clothing? Savage attack from out of left field from the girl who hasn't shown an opinion in two months. This is getting better all the time.

But back to Ambre. She's got spirit. Really feeling the pressure and this could haunt her. She may start to get all tight and shit and start coming apart at the seams. She did fumble on the big play in the football game. Maybe she's got performance anxiety. You know, takes the SAT with no time limits, that kinda thing.

And Jessica takes another shot. This time against Daisy. This girl has much more than we've been shown. Daisy wants to make a strip-club theme. While I appreciate the sex for money industry as much as any guy, this is almost too easy. How can this girl not be a stripper? What in the world does she do for a living.

And AGAIN we're thrown off by Jessica's sudden personality and frankness. Have they been hiding this all along? We need Senator Spektor to hold a hearing. She just said that Daisy should "hold the camera like is a big c*ck and focus." Nice editing job by VH1 to put a rooster/cock crowing as the sound that bleeps out the word.

Yeah, Ambre is going over the edge. And Megan's getting pretty mean by calling Ambre old. This house is just spilling over with spite. I'm thinking we need a challenge of a pillow fight just so we can see them take it out on each other. In lingerie of course and spiked heels. With a jello-wrestling finale.

What I really love is that these women have no qualms about wearing nearly nothing all day. Watching the "fallen" video and Megan is trying to get KJ out of bed wearing nothing but skimpy undies (Ed. note - her crack was showing). This is a great show!!!

Now we're on the other video. Jessica can be as hot as she wants to be.

So Ambre gets a solo date with Bret. Yeah, she's gonna be performing.

Destiney has really got it out for KJ. What is with this girl? She just stars screaming at KJ. Then Daisy kicks in on the same vein (not the vein that Ambre will be seeing later). Just yelling at her and shit. Allie's thinking there's much more going on than they are showing us. This is outright hatred spewing out of the mouths of these babes. Who needs writers?? And now Daisy's crying? Man, they are all getting tense. The pressure is making the fragile psyches of the women-folk on the show crumble like a toilet paper hammock in the rain.

Ambre's solo date is with a witch-doctor? Honestly, she kinda perked up at her own suggestion of a threesome. This girl could have one heck of a playful side. And KJ decides to step in to satiate her own fears and interrupt the date. Oh, could he be wearing more eye makeup when he answers the door? This guy's image of himself is too much.

KJ's soul is in turmoil? I don't think we should confuse that with a Turmoil of Hotness. And Bret gives the gift of Shakra for KJ. Yeah, I don't think that was what she was expecting. And the other girls are crying while he spends time with Bret. And Jessica is crying!?!?!?!?!?! We've got a funeral going on in the hallway. And Destiney is spewing venom. It is just oozing from every girl in the house.

While Megan is a total ditz, props to her for taking her game to another level. She put on the full frontal assault.

And back at the house Ambre throws a hissy-fit at KJ. Man, this girl gets it from every end. There is no safe haven anywhere in the house. She needs to sleep with Big John for sanctuary. Allison has paralleled KJ with Laci from last year. She's the one in the center of all of the turmoil and they keep her around for a more dramatic show.

Now, on to the elimination set up. As Bret and Big John are coming down the hallway, I quote my future wife "look at Bret's shlong as he turns the corner. Does he have a boner??" Now I'm concerned. Not only is my bride-to-be looking at another guys package, but she uses the word "boner." And for the record, he did look pretty "happy." (Ed. Note: How many times have I had to hear about how hot all these girls are. Can't a sister enjoy the only schlong on the show????)

It is fair to note that while Ambre got the first pass, she was inches from elimination a few episodes ago. Saved by the self-selection of the butt-shaker from the first episode.

And Destiney stays again. WTF?? What does this girl have? I see nothing from this girl, but bitching. Worst body on the show, grating voice AND blatantly hostile to my girl KJ.

It is between KJ and Megan. My fave vs. the Turmoil of Hotness. How in the world can Megan go before Destiney and Daisy the dumb-ass?

KJ self-selects. That was the right move. We are going to need a new lightening rod.

So now this has to be one HUGE blow to Megan. As stated before, Megan thinks the world should be hers just 'cus she's hot. She's gonna be staying in the house for another day by nothing but by the grace of KJ. Talk about Karma bein a bitch. I wonder if this will be some sort of epiphany for her. A wake up call of sorts. A real kick in the nuts if you will. And Bret says that he would "love" to have Megan in the house. Yeah, that had to be real comforting. I'm sure there were some real robust self defense mechanisms kicking right about now.

Then he leaves for what I'm sure will be a beer or eight with Big John.