Episode Eleven - The Trashy Trio

Well now. After a week of debating and research on RoL. There's been much discussion on the blogs, much like this one, and conspriacy theories abound. Some have Daisy, some have Ambre. Some have Bret already secretly with KJ and he's bought her a house in AZ to live in after she clears up her issues (aka husbands). And then there's the ones that put Heather back in the mix at the end or the ones that have Heather with her own show after this one.

We're starting to feel as though this show has really taken hold. There are even some pretty good parodies out there. Here's one from SNL - http://tv.popcrunch.com/saturday-night-live-rock-of-love-2-parody-video/

Of the more mundane, I've been wondering how much ass Bret's getting this season. At the "parents episode" from last year we learned from Heather that Laci was making nightly visits to Bret's room for a little (or a lotta) Unskinny Bop and horizontal mambo-ing. I'm thinking there's been some action with KJ, certainly with Daisy, and in no way, shape or form with Peyton (FACE TIME!!! See SNL parody above).

Now we have the parents, take two. Without the dominant personalities that we had last year, I'm just not sure how much fun this will be. Just boring talk about jobs, etc. And who in the world spawned the wreck that is Daisy?

Hey, we're back from Vegas. Whew, what a barrel of laughs in Sin City. Could someone throw a drink at me??? That was so fun when we did that in Vegas.

Yeah, cleaning house. Surprise, it is your folks!! And Ambre can't wait for her father to meet Bret. And NO BANDANA!!! Good googely moogely. Can he actually be a real person without being "Bret Michaels, bandana boy"?

It all continues to come "clean". Daisy hasn't seen her father in seven years and her mother in four. Yeah, considering that she's a dancer with dynamic lifestyle (abortion, living with old boyfriend, etc.) this should come as no surprise. As Chris Rock says, somebody just didn't get enough hugs.

Destiney's folks walk in and it is all coming so clear. Her father has a tattoo that goes all around his forehead. They're biker folks, sure, but that is one strange tat on the melon. They seem very cool and mellow to have spawned such a hair trigger tempered, emotionally violent chic. Must have been double recessive.

So, Ambre's Dad is a nice, kind of "plain ole" guy, Destiney's parents are interesting and over all nice. And the best they can find for Daisy is the "old" boyfriend / roommate maybe with some occassional benefits but who know's older sister. Man, this is uncomfortable. I can't believe that Bret hasn't called her out on this.

Destiney's dad has liver cancer. What a kick in the balls. He's got six months to live. Very cool that he's make the trip out when he's clearly not well - tatoo not withstanding. And, props to Destiney for not using that to illicit some sympathy on the show.

We find out that Ambre is lying about her age. They cast dispersions on what else she's lying about. This brutha's sayin this is her only non-truth. We like Ambre too much to believe that she's just spewing fabrications all over. BTW, did anyone notice that Ambre's dad has a maroon and orange jacket?

Destiney turns into a psycho groupie chick dancin to the video. This girl has real issues. I'm thinking aside from the aggression issues, she's a manic-depressive. At what point should we be checking her meds? And, while we are checking hers, take a look at everyone else's...

He takes Daisy to this rock palace, Rainbow. And Daisy is "honored" to be taken there. It is a freaking restaurant. Yeah, this girl is looped. And finally Bret goes for the throat with Daisy. 'Bout time to get to the bottom of what she's spewin. Alli's thinking this is VERY uncomfortable for Charles' sister. Yeah, I'd agree. Everyone wants her brother's sex life out on national television. And Daisy lives life "in color". What the heck is that? Great line from Bret, "Thanks a lot, Kodachrome!"

Oooh, back to the house. Ambre's dad cuts to the bone. He asks a pointed, direct question to Destiney and she whiffed. "What's life going to be like if he chooses Destiney?" And she's got nothing. Destiney thinks that her life will just go back to normal. Yeah, this girl is in it for the experience of being a groupie. There's little going on upstairs besides being a rock girl.

And finally Bret admits that he's tired of being lied to by Daisy.

Oh, this is good to see the parents have a conversation together without the girls Genuinely good peeps.

Props to Bret for trying to do something nice for Destiney's dad with the motorcycle ride. For their date, Bret takes Destiney to a tattoo parlor. And she wants the RoL logo on the back of her neck. This girl is screwed up. She wants this tattoo to remember the experience. Yep, this makes all of the sense in the world. She'd in it for the experience, not for the guy. Her life is complete just being a groupie. In a way, smarter than getting Bret's name on your neck, but at the same time, she completely missed the point.

Dinner with Ambre and her father. Bret's calling her out with the age deal. Man, this is the House of Lies. Allie's thinking that this is a minor issue and I'd agree. Chicks are funny with the age thing and they are the source of much evil (think Eve), but this is pish-posh. She's been so honest, he better not screw this up over a set of tits.

And then a funny thought came to me. The day that Destiney got a tattoo for the show she could get booted. Wow, would that suck? That's worse than droppin a c-note at dinner and getting told that your date is "sort seeing someone," as you drop her off afterwards.

Girls in a bedroom chit-chatting. Ambre is just one open wound. Man, this girl could be in for a big fall at the end of the day. We get to watch Destiney just totally screw herself. Why in the world would you give the other girls ammunition? We all know that she's on the show for the experience, but to intimate that she wants a rock star, any rock star, was a poor strategic move. So I ask again, how did she make it to the final three? Look at Daisy goin for blood. The gloves are off.

Elimination:
Bret speaks to each one of them with their plusses and minuses. He just laid out a line of crapola with Destiney. He used her father's illness and her "transition" that is pending to say that their relationship may be at the wrong time. He just can't be honest about this girl. Does she have a picture of him screwing a goat or something? So, Destiney comes clean that her goal was to be a part of the show. If this doesn't take her down, we're at a total loss - she'd be like a cockroach after nuclear war that just won't die.

Finally he tosses Destiney to the side. Thankfully she's gone. Man, I've been looking for this for weeks.

Nice boob-adjust by Daisy as she approaches Bret for the group hug. What is amazing is that there's nothing in common between these two: a mid-thirties TV show host and a 24 year-old stripper.

So a year from now, what kind of conversation would Daisy and Bret have? He'll come home from a two-week stint on the road, tired, sore, voice scratchy and she'll be there. Just had her face filled with botox and collogen and her fortieth voice lesson that month to no avail. "Hey Bret, like how wuz like the tour? Like I like just had my like ex over for like the weekend, but like we didn't like have sex. Like, yeah, like he stayed in like my room, but like we just like talked. Like, he's like out of like money and like needed like somewhere to like stay. So, like how waz like the tour? Like, I'm like glad your like home. Like, we were like naked last night, like just like talking, and like I like thought about like the tour. Like can you like get Charles like a job? Hey, like I wrote like some like poetry in between like shifts at the like Alaskan Bush Company. Like do you like know like how much like poetry is like music lyrics? Like that's like so like amazing. Like what's like the big like deal? Like, yeah, like we were like naked, but like there was no like sex. Like why like can't you like trust me?"

Don't forget - Thursday night, 9:30 the "Clip Show" and then the finale next week. Will there be ROL 3??? Will Bret find love??? Will we have to find a new show to blog?????????